THE FOLLOWING EULOGY WAS DELIVERED BY CAMILLE’S FATHER AUGUST 26TH 2000 AT THE SALVATION ARMY ARC IN PHOENIX, ARIZONA

Long before today Sharon and I looked forward to coming to this Chapel with Camille. This is Sharon’s spiritual home and the place where her late father Raymond – the “Ray” in Camille’s middle name Rayana – served as the men’s Chaplain for 21 years before his retirement in 1992. 

It was January when we learned that God had gifted us with a child. Sharon had been especially tired for several weeks and I urged her to see the doctor. Like most wives she suspected the cause of her tiredness but had not shared it with me until that morning when tests confirmed what we had hoped and dreamed of. It would be several more months until amniocentesis confirmed not only the child growing within her was genetically perfect, but also that our baby was a girl. Shortly thereafter we named her and the story of her naming is on the back of your program. Next we decided to come to this chapel after she was born to dedicate her life to God. Instead today we’re here asking God’s mercy for Camille. 

During the last month of her pregnancy I went with Sharon for her weekly checkup. The last one had been August 15th. She was glowing: the picture of good health. She had superbly nurtured not only her baby but also herself. Mother and baby were doing fine and an appointment was made to induce labor on the following Thursday, August 17th. The rest of the story is a nightmare that will haunt us forever. 

As sensors were put in place to monitor Camille’s fetal heartbeat the smile that had been on the nurses face faded. Other nurses were called in until finally an ultrasound exam confirmed that Camille’s heart, which we both had listened to on Tuesday, was still. Our baby was dead. 

The doctor arrived and we all cried together. In the hallway I asked if he would perform a Caesarean only to be told that Sharon would be required to deliver Camille “naturally”. With the baby dead he had to protect her mother and a natural delivery, he explained, was a lower risk. At 2:40PM that afternoon Sharon delivered our 8 pound 21 inch perfectly formed beautiful daughter. 

Camille was bathed and dressed in the layette we had brought to take her home. I carried her from the adjoining room and laid her in Sharon’s arms and we cried together….. alone in our grief. 

After we had our private time together I invited waiting friends and family to join us. One by one each took Camille into their arms and cuddled her. My 90-year-old mother Millie was first to hold and kiss her. Camille was her first granddaughter. Sharon’s sister Ruth, Ken, Donna, Jim, Kimberly, Claudia, Stella and Colonels Shirley and Mervyn Morelock all took turns, after which the Morelocks us in prayer. To be honest, I can’t remember that prayer today. We were all too stunned. But we were comforted by his love and that of Mrs. Morelock, both of whom arrived early and remained to comfort Sharon and me until after she had delivered. Major Lucas came to the hospital too. 

Like me you’re probably wondering “Why”. Why did Camille’s heart, that had been so strong, just up and stop beating. The answer is “There is no answer”. It was not a problem with her heart. We know that because her heart was donated by us so that another infant could live. Camille died of Sudden Antenatal Death Syndrome. Known as SADS it is like SIDS, it just strikes infants earlier. In the womb instead of in the crib. Like SIDS, there are theories but no answers. 

I had never heard of SADS but as I have come to learn in the 9 days since Camille’s birth, it is 10 times more prevalent than SIDS. But because our Camille didn’t get to swallow a breath of air she is considered by the State not to have lived. Accordingly she was not issued a Birth Certificate. Instead a Certificate of Infant Demise will be given us and Camille’s short life from conception to full term will go down in the record books as an asterisk. SIDS babies get Death Certificates and that fact alone is accountable for the outcry to find a cure for that tragedy. With no record of her birth, who is to cry out for Camille and all the other babies and families who suffer?

Two days following Camille’s death a living angel in the person of Joanne Cacciatore visited us at home. Like Sharon, Joanne had suffered the death of an infant daughter. Cheyenne’s heart stopped beating just 15 minutes before she was delivered. That was July 27, 1994. Since then she formed a group called MOTHERS IN SYMPATHY & SUPPORT. She has created a web site, the address of which is on the back of your program, and she has been a tireless campaigner to change the law in Arizona so that future Cheyennes and Camilles will be accorded the dignity their lives deserved and be issued a Birth Certificate. Beyond that her group is attempting to raise the awareness of SADS so that research will reveal its causes, and knowing the cause, come up with preventative measures. 

At her visit Joanne gave us a copy of DEAR CHEYENNE, a book she wrote that tells of her experience from 1994 to present. In reading it we realized we were not alone. Prenatal death was far more common than we ever realized. We found out that bad things do happen to good people, for no discernable reason, as autopsies of stillborn infants reveal. Yes, there are some infants with birth defects, or cord accidents, but the overwhelming majority of Sudden Infant Deaths fall into the category of “Unsolved Mysteries”. 

After her visit Joanne posted the tragic story of Camille’s death on her group’s website. That night we received two e-mails from other mothers who had also lost a child to SADS. The next morning I awakened to find scores of e-mails, from as far away as Switzerland and South Africa. To date we have received 257 e-mails from around the world, enough to fill up this book. Two of them arrived just this morning and I have brought them with me to share with you.

In time we may have another child, or we may not. Camille was the first child for either of us, and most eagerly awaited. If her brief existence is to have meaning, it will be in helping us to teach others of the terrible losses that mothers around the world suffer daily in relative obscurity.

When I picked up Camille’s ashes yesterday I learned from the mortuary that 2 more stillborn babies had come in since Camille. Three in one week. That’s three too many, let alone for one mortuary. In honor of our daughter from this day forward I dedicate myself to working to help reduce the 30,000 annual deaths from SADS that brings so much sadness to so many mothers and fathers. 

Sharon and I thank you for coming here today. You honor Camille by your presence. There can be nothing sadder than the death of a child. When we lose a parent, we lose a piece of our past. When we lose a child, we lose a piece of our future. 

Though her body is gone, Camille is still with us. She is our special angel. Sharon and I have already felt her presence, and her love has already worked miracles in our lives that are too personal for us to relate. Remember Camille in your prayers and please remember Cheyenne and all the other babies, those whose mothers e-mailed us, and those who don’t know that they are not alone in their tragedy. 

Thank you Sharon for giving me a beautiful daughter. 

I love you both, with all my heart and soul. 

Amen